Blog

Aurum’s Eleven

The time had finally come for Aurum’s revenge, or at least the opening stages. The party would arrive in Limsa Lominsa with time to spare, though the sun had already begun to creep behind the horizon. Some arrived by sea or by air. Some, perhaps, had other methods of travel. Regardless, they would find themselves gathered here, the location that Aurum’s dead drop had directed them toward. It was a narrow back alley just a casual walk from the industrial district where Taylor’s lab was located. She had left some final notes, instructions, and words of encouragement, but had otherwise made herself scarce, though the note mentions she would be available via linkpearl should they need her for anything.

J’auri felt (a little bit) like an anxious mother as she knelt in front of Keyra and triple-checked her systems. The Miqo’te was dressed in black, utility belts slung around her hips filled with all sorts of tools and odds and bobs in case emergency repairs were needed. “Stealth systems?” she asked. “Operational and functioning,” Keyra replied. “Bomb initiation functions?” “Operational and functioning.” “Energy levels?” “Operating at 100%.” The Miqo’te nodded and stood, and to both Keyra and those gathered, she would say, “I’ll be available via linkpearl in case there are any complications with either the bomb or Keyra. I’ll also be posing as secondary lookout.”

Cinma leaned against a nearby wall, arms folded. Her black hair hung low over her eyes. She was dressed to sneak, most of her garments were casual enough not to stand out, but functional enough to blend in. She didn’t pay attention to anyone else, instead busying herself on her tomestone. She had been early, and didn’t feel the need to introduce herself again.

Percival had spend his morning escaping the inept clutches of Limsan animal control, and was lazily lounging in the sun on one of the marble causeways, making silly noises at a hyuran child whose mother was busy.

Sehn shows up with a full leather ‘allagan’ catsuit, ready for espionage and break-ins… but that would be rather obvious to the general populace, so she was wearing a light, but still covering sun dress. “Ready for action!” She strikes a little bit of a pose, fist pumped in the air. She had mostly forgotten her true purpose of coming here for revenge on Aurum, and instead got excited during the mission briefing and was totally ready to plant this bomb thing. Maybe steal some other stuff while she was in there.

Cinma glanced around for the girl in gold. “Wait, is that girl even part of this? Or did she just buy lunch and bail?”

“User Aurum is at the after-party in order to keep her cover and provide an alibi, User Cinma.

“Clever.”

Aidan arrived before too long. His outfit was baggy, as he presumably had something on underneath. The whole thing was complete with a hood that could work in tandem with a mask to obscure his features when he actually got going. This certainly wouldn’t be his first B&E job. But the fact they had to mostly be quiet was a bit different for him. Hence the precaution with his identity; part of him expected this to go to shit and get loud. “This is the most prep work for the stupidest motive I’ve ever seen,” he said as he arrived. He was smirking, though. “Ought to be a blast.”

Cinma’s tail swayed, and she gave him a respectful nod.

Somewhere, above them, a pair of watchful eyes traced every movement of that lion tail.

“Cause … it’s, you know, a – eh nevermind.” J’auri looked at Aidan. “She’s all yours. Do you have everything you need? Know where to go? I put some refreshing, energy-giving drinks in some convenient-to-carry cardboard boxes in case anyone needs a quick pick me up.” J’auri dig into her bag and produced one of the said “juice boxes” and offered it up. Her eyes landed on Sehn. “And … wait, what’s your role again?”

Vivian finally waltzed into their little meeting room. He scanned over it’s occupants, pausing to wave to C’inma with a little smile, before finally arriving at the Miqo’te girl with the Node. “You.” he pointed at her. “You’re the engineer and demolitionist, aye? You prepped and ‘weaponized’ the goldbile into the bombs?”

“Me,” J’auri confirmed, and she slurped on one of her juice boxes. Refreshing! She nodded. “Aurum got us the glitter and the goldbile, and it’s all in here.” She rapped the top of the device next to her. Clang. It was a cylindrical object, nearly a forearm in diameter. Inspection would reveal that the top would hinge open upon “detonation”, spewing out the contents within. “The goldbile is contained within glass containers within here, and they’ll be ejected when time’s up, smashing into every surface they come into contact with.” J’auri then pointed to the bottom of the object. “There’s a fan down here as well that will propel all of the glitter packed in here up and out, making sure that the place is coated.” She grinned at those gathered. “And, it has handles! For easy carrying!”

[ J’uari taps the top of the container with confidence. This bad boy can fit so much glitter! But how stable was it? @J’auri Tyata Roll a D8, please. ]

[8] J’auri was a confident tinkerer, and although she hadn’t had much time, her workmanship was far from shoddy. The bomb could withstand love taps …. this time, at least.

For the most part Sehn shrugs at the question. She hardly knew the people here or their specialties. She could break in, or out of most locations, so she more saw herself as a backup option in case one entryway failed. “Backup Entry?” She gives a wide grin and a thumbs up.

[ As the group gathered, Percival was already hard at work. From his high vantage, he’d be able to see the lab, a large, featureless rectangle of a building in stark contrast to the white, “naturally” formed walls of Limsa Lominsa. It stood two stories tall with a catwalk along two sides, southern and eastern, overlooking the main approach, should the party approach from this alley. Two figures patrol from above, occasionally stepping into a door on the east side, second level, where they’d disappear for approximately ten ticks before making their rounds again. The main entrance is on the south side, guarded by another pair that appears to be stationary. There are few windows to peek inside, so it’s tough for the Griffin to get a read on any movement within. Lastly, upon the roof, there appears to be a maintenance entrance, but anyone interested in using this as an entrance would either need to scale a wall or jump from the roof of a nearby building to the west. How he would communicate this to the rest of the party with his limited vocabulary was another issue entirely. ]

Percival took this new knowledge and swooped down on the group, squawking and stamping his feet. He clearly had something to tell them

[ The shadows grow long and the sun eventually disappears beyond the horizon, drowning the alley in gloom. It was time. ]

Vivian stared at the creature before fishing into his pocket and tossing a pet treat at it’s feet. “Just aim me where you’d like some guards dozing off.” he unsheathed his stave with a brief twirling flourish, waiting for one of the sneaky lot to take the lead.

Aidan, having spent some time getting a power nap totally meditating and sipping a juice box, rises from where he had been leaning against the wall. He glanced over to the facility once more, before looking @Cinma Ritrha, @J’auri Tyata and Keyra’s way. “Ready to rock?”

Keyra floated towards Aidan. ”I am ready for our mission to commence, Master Aidan,” she said. J’auri would carry the bomb over to Aidan as well and set it down gingerly. “Be careful,” she cautioned.

“I’m gonna go hit the roof.” Cinma turned on a heel and found a good place to start climbing up. (74) It didn’t take too long. She found a pipe she could scale easily.

Aidan Cross takes the bomb in hand. He then looked at the building for a moment, before seeing Cin scamper up the side. He then looked to Keyra. “How high can ya float, and how much weight can ya support?”

”I can float 72 ilms off a solid surface – the ground, as you would say. I am unable to support more than 4.092 ponzes of weight.”

“Six fulms.” remarked the Viera. “Not much.” he tapped his stave on the ground. “Think I’ll head on with our cat burglar. She tends to attract trouble.” Vivian strolled a bit closer to the building before focusing on C’inma’s aether, anchoring it to his own. He aimed his stave in her direction before he was pulled through the air towards the roof, grabbing on to the ledge and hopping over the side. “Impatient?” came a little chiding as he dusted himself.

“…” So the fuckin thing could barely support its own weight. Great. “Alright,” he sighed, making the crushing motion with his hand again to make Keyra pocket sized. He looked at the little node in his hand, before looking to J’auri. “Wellp. Wish us luck.” He would then move to follow Cinma to the roof. That seemed like the best entry point for his needs. Climbing up the pipe was a little awkward, considering he was carrying the glitter bomb with one hand and the node in his pocket, but he managed after a moment of getting absolutely nowhere.

J’auri gave a thumbs up as people began to ascend the pipe, and she herself moved to a vantage point where she could keep lookout.

Percival grabbed Aiden by the jacket and effortlessly carried him to the roof, his large wings remarkably silent. He deposited Aiden safely on the roof and waited to be told it was time to patrol

Aidan was about a quarter of the way up when Percival nabbed him. Reflex made Aidan just about swing the bomb as a blunt weapon at the Griffin, but he managed to hold back. “…Thanks?” he said when he was dropped on top of the building. “…I think. What’s the griffin supposed to do, again?” he asked quietly to anybody in earshot.

[With the party safe upon the roof, they would see the access door before them. It looks sturdy, made of thick metal, with a numbered pad to the right of its handle. No one had tested it yet, but it gave off the vibe of a very locked door. They would also hear the sound of another heavy door opening and shutting somewhere down below and two pairs of heavy boots clanking along the catwalk in a polyrhythm. Out of eyesight, but not earshot.]

Cinma stared at the panel. “Welp, this is beyond my ability.” She tried the door, regardless. [17] “Well…”

[ The door was, in fact, locked. ]

She looked around for another way in.

Percy scampered to the opening he had seen earlier and flapped his wings, trying to draw attention to himself.

Aidan, of course, ignored the very locked door in favour of whatever the (weirdly intelligent) bird was flapping its wings about.

[ Cinma, if you were to peek over the ledge to the east, where the sound of heavy feet was coming from, you’d notice a catwalk below that you could probably hop down to. The problem being that the two-man sentry would probably return that way shortly (or hear you drop). The door on the catwalk, however, had no reason to be locked, as it were. ]

Cin looked over at the bird, thought it would make a good dinner, then walked over to the ledge. She looked to see where the men were, and then looked back. “No bodies, right?” she whispered.

Vivian stretched lightly before strolling to the edge, peering at the two men, and nodding to her. He pointed his magic stick at them and cast the spell that made people fall asleep standing up. [56] No one ever used that one. “No bodies.”

Cinma smiled at him, that big stupid grin.

[ The spell would catch the pair of guards just before they’d turn the corner to the south side. One of them buckles at the knees, hitting the deck, while the other’s momentum carries him over the guard rail at the corner. It was true that Aurum had asked not to kill anyone out of fear of this escalating far past a “business disagreement.” Therefore, there might have been a brief moment of panic, depending on the observer, as one of the guards rag dolls over the railing. Thankfully, the Twelve were on watch, and the guard’s baggy black pants catch on something, giving him the most atomic of wedgies as he hangs limp from underneath the catwalk, snoring softly. ]

Vivian grinned deviously. He loved that spell.

Cinma, without the need to worry about other threats, dropped down onto the catwalk with a ‘clank’. She quickly moved toward the lesser-locked door.

[ The door opens with a satisfying click. ]

With the others proceeding on just fine, Aidan makes the decision to go thataways. He descends down onto the catwalk with a similar clank; he was solid as shit to begin with, even before he was carrying a big metal cylinder. He took a moment to mentally refresh himself on where the hell he was delivering this thing, before proceeding along the catwalk to the door.

[ Aidan Cross, roll a d8 as the bomb slightly jostles from the drop. ]

[[5!]]

[ The bomb remains stable. For now. ]

The bomb jostled in his grip. Aidan grits his teeth in frustration, tightening his grip to keep the damn thing secure. Alright, maybe he goes a bit more carefully until they get this Angry Thermos™️ situated…

J’auri whistled cheerfully as she kept look out, so happy that she put convenient handles on the bomb. Aidan was probably having a great time carrying it!

Cinma looked over her shoulder, as if the world almost ended.

If this fucking thing went off early, Aidan would not remove his mask until after there was a pot of boiling water for him to jump into, because fuck the smell it would bring.

He kept his hands on the handles now. He had been carrying it underarm until now, but the damn handle had clipped the side of the catwalk on landing. Ugh.

Vivian slid down almost silently, graceful as ever. “Well, get the door open. Let’s plant these things and leave.” he said, just as impatient as a certain moon cat had just been.

[ The door would lead to a catwalk within the lab. Twenty fulms below a plethora of steel, copper, and glass machinery all bubbling, steaming, and roiling in their own way. The interior appears to be L-shaped, a small room off on the right kept away from the rest of the heavy machinery. Those who recall the diagram Aurum had drawn up would recognize this as the room full of alchemical equipment that would have been safe from the worst of the glitter, but not the stench. The catwalk offers a path to the right, following along the wall, which should eventually place the group above three large copper boilers with open tops; their primary target. The catwalk also heads straight at the T-juncture, with another path leading across the room and then bending left to a staircase that leads down to the floor below. The sounds of muffled voices can be heard from this distance, but it’s difficult to see much from their current vantage. ]

Oop, there we go. Again, before all else, Aidan was a professional. Job gets done. He was curious as shit about the presumably sealed-off room, but that could come later. Doing a quick check to make sure they were all alone on the catwalk, he would begin moving forward rapidly, heading towards the vats, digging Keyra out of his pocket. “Alright, Bite-Size,” he said to @J’auri Tyata ‘s node. “Gimme the lowdown on how this is gonna work.”

“Once you believe you have place the bomb in the correct position,” Keyra said in her miniscule form (her voice was teeeeny!), “then command me to initiate the timer, Master Aidan.”

Percival was outside on patrol, where he belonged!

[ The dutiful griffin, upon one of his passes, would notice an extra pair of guards arrive from outside. Only his keen eyes could have spotted them, what with their penchant for wearing black in the dark of night, but the platinum baubles that adorn their dark uniforms might as well be beacons of light to the griffin. The four guards chat for a moment in what appears to be a changing of shifts. One of the relieved guards reaches into a fold of his uniform, plucking something small to put in his mouth. A flicker of flame illuminates his face, and he breathes deep some smoke before tilting back to exhale, a relaxing moment after a long shift of standing stationary and looking awesome. It’s then that his attention floats to the catwalk above, spotting one of his fellows dangling there by his undies. ] “What in the Hells?!”

Percival tucked his wings and screeched, diving like a torpedo and [46] rather ungracefully crashing into them before they could do anything. He acted like he was panicking, stomping and flailing his wings wildly to keep their attention fixed firmly on him outside. Twelve knows the team inside knew there was trouble now

[ The rest of the party would hear a Griffon’s cry, followed by a similarly high-pitched screech of terror from one of the guards outside the main entrance to the south. ]

Upon hearing the cry, J’auri would walk towards it, trying to play it cool. She spotted the four* guards as well as Percival. Oh Thal, this wasn’t good. But she had to do something. They couldn’t just go in! “Guards!” J’auri cried. “You found my wife’s prized griffin! It escaped after a suspicious character stole my bag and ran off. It must think you have the bag!”

“Eeeek! Call it off! Call it off! We don’t have your bag!” The cigarette had been snuffed in a spray of embers as the helpless guard frantically bats away at the circling griffin. “Get inside! It’ll go for your eyes! Check on our mate upstairs!” The guard frantically barks orders while one of the others fumbles at the key code, getting it wrong several times in his panic.

“It’s one, two, three, four, idiot!”

“You can’t go inside!” J’auri was panicking. “You have to help me look for my bag! Are you guards, or aren’t you?!” [39] She didn’t know if she was being very convincing ….

Aidan heard the noise from outside. “Shit,” he curses, running for the vats now. He goes over the plan in his head again, crouching and hooking the bomb on the catwalk right above the vats. Idly, he remembered that the code for the door up top was likely 1234 and felt like strangling someone. But for now, job was almost done. “Alright, Keyra,” he said. “If you don’t gotta be full-size, then set it up!”

“And how much time should I put on the timer, Master Aidan?”

[Aidan, you’d recall that there should be a space above you to plant the bomb, which would make it much more concealed and easier to set a longer timer. The choice is yours. Though it might be harder reach than attaching it to the catwalk]

Percival had meant to knock him down [8] but instead knocked the man at the keypad flat unconscious, keeping the door from opening

“I mean, we’re Nifty Swifties first and guards second, but, oh my Gods is he dead?!” They’re clearly not cut out for this. All wax and no wick. Another starts fumbling at the keypad and the light goes green, releasing the lock.

Aidan looked around quickly. He looked at the door the guards would be coming through, looked to where the bomb was, looked to where they might be able to escape, and used it all to do Quick Maffs™️ in his head. [64] It was a pressurized cylinder, and there was no way anyone was going to disarm it if Keyra was needed to even turn the damn thing on. This was gonna go off one way or another. “…One minute,” Aidan answers. He then rises, looking to Cinma and Vivian. “Hope you two aren’t hoping for a leisurely stroll out!”

“Initiating time for ONE MINUTE,” Keyra echoed back. Aidan would be able to see a small screen on the bomb if he looked back at it: 1:00. “Initiated.”

“Awesome,” Aidan said, hearing the door unlatch from outside. He shoves Keyra back into his pocket, and starts making to exit. …Making sure @Cinma Ritrha and @Vivian Sorthjerte got out first, of course. That one was more habit than anything, but it had usually been part of his jobs before.

Vivian had already vanished as soon as the word ‘initiated’ had sounded. The Viera was going to be malms and malms away from these things before they went off.

[ @L’sehn Seih Despite the commotion, your attention is drawn to the cordoned-off room with a sign that reads: “Top secret. Authorized personnel only.” ]

Forget Sehn, Aidan’s attention was drawn by that. He slowed his run to a walk as he looked at the door, considering…

Time would seemingly slow to a crawl as many things happen at once. Three guards enter through the main entrance, shutting the door behind them and leaning against it. “What the Hells was that?! A Griffin?” “We have to go back out there for him!” “Idiot! He’s already dead! You open that door and so are we!” “I think I peed a little…” “Get ahold of yourself!” A loud slap rings out. “And you call yourself a Nifty Swifty… Get upstairs and check on the patrol outside. I think I saw one hanging from above. I’m going to… stay here and, uh, keep watch.” His voice wavers as the other two hesitantly turn toward the catwalk stairs.

Percival was screaming and screeching, his talons tearing at the outer door

Keyra would continue to occasionally announce the status of the timer, while J’auri, seeing the guards distracted, and figuring there was no better opportunity to escape (it didn’t seem like there was any more she could do anyways! The others were resourceful people, they’d be fine! … Probably!) turned swiftly and slunk away.

“Aidan…” @Aidan Cross She didn’t think that was a good idea, at all. “C’mon. Let’s get a coffee. Time to go.”

“But secrets,” he almost wanted to say. He didn’t, of course. He just frowned, and nodded. “Yeah. Good call.” As curious as he was, it was almost certainly not worth the cleaning he’d have to do if he got both himself and Keyra caught in that blast. “Let’s see if we can’t get a good seat for these fireworks,” he said, breaking off into a run again.

She approved of his better judgment and ran behind.

“Hey! You!” A cry calls out from below as the two guards ascending the stairs hear the voices and spot some of the party. “You’re not allowed in here! Get back here!”

Sehn 100% goes into that room that dares threaten her with a good time. Locks aren’t much issue for a skilled and capable gleaner like her. But in all likelihood, judging by the people here, they didn’t lock the secret room and more just went off the hope that the sign would do its job. Either way, it didn’t and she was in the room faster than an Ishgardian in a sauna.

Sehn would slip into the door marked “Top Secret” to find long tables full of cucurbits, alembics, and lutes, or for those unfamiliar with alchemy equipment or easy access to Google, lots of vials, corked flasks, and twisting glass akin to bendy straws. Some sit atop burners, slowly bubbling with various liquids of all colors of the spectrum. The equipment itself was surely valuable, but their weight and awkward shape might not make them prime candidates for theft. A sneak thief of Sehn’s caliber would look for something smaller yet worth its weight in gold. Thankfully some of the objects had been labeled. ‘Color changing nail polish’ reads one and another reads ‘Liquid soap. Highly flammable.’ Further down the line there’s another set-up for what appears to be a prototype – a simple cylinder, though the diagram to the right suggests that the button on top would release an aerosol spray of perfume. Some product names have been jotted along the margins: ‘Something badass. Tomahawk. Cleaver. Hatchet Body Spray.’ Aurum might pay a decent sum for any of the diagrams or manuals scattered about the room, but none of them seem to spark the Gil signs behind Sehn’s eyes until she reaches the end of the table. The pitch was already laid out as if this was the most researched prototype of them all. “Ever wanted to go short without the risk? Now you can with Swiftspell’s Hair Growth Tonic. Wake up to a full head of hair with this magical elixir. Grows one ilm per bell! Not just for women! Use it on your face to grow a majestic beard or on tails to make them super floofy! Patent pending.” [ 45 seconds ]

Pulling out an overly large burlap sack with a gil sign on the side of it, Sehn scoopies the most valuable items into said sack. Paperwork and all, careful not to break anything. The hair tonic seemed the most interesting, and could also probably sell to the miqo’te who have hair loss problems. Nuhn’s worry about that stuff as they get older and have to deal with all of their wives. The body spray too, it sounded really cool and bad-ass. Probably got all the ladies hands down no shot. She would need some good smelling stuff for when she goes to woo the lonely housewives of Sharlayan. “Damn, good haul…” She muttered, hefting the sack over her shoulder like an 80’s cartoon villain, ensuring the currency symbol was facing outwards.(edited)

With the timer ticking down, the guard at the front door would notice the door to the secret lab was ajar. No one was allowed in there except Taylor and a few of his hand-picked goons. Things were going sideways and this would most certainly mean his job. “Hey! We’ve got intruders! Seal the exits up there!” He shouts to his compatriots as he pulls a heavy lever near the front entrance, sealing it shut. The two guards on the catwalk above quicken their pace, reaching the top of the stairs as most of the others are already breaking for the exit up top.

…Whiiiich of course caused Aidan to come to a screeching halt. Front door was sealed. No other exits in sight aside from the one connected to the catwalk him and Cin we’re currently going towards. Aaaaand they still had someone inside. “…” Was it worth it? Like, honestly. If someone were stupid enough to go downstairs in this situation, they deserved it. Didn’t they? After all, if it were him, nobody would– … No. That had been disproven. With a frustrated growl, he turned back around. “Keep the door open,” he said to Cin, throwing the triggers on his gauntlets. Aether erupted along his hands and forearms, burning like a spectral flame. “I’ll be right back.”

The guards on the catwalk above hesitate as they size up Aidan. One of them produces a small canister. “S-Stay back or I’ll spray the crap out of you.” He holds the canister out in front of him with a shaky hand. The other doesn’t seem to know what to do with himself. He adopts what could be considered a defensive posture, but the arena of battle he was most comfortable with were dance-offs, so he shuffles his feet accordingly to an unheard rhythm, hoping he looks the part.

At first, Aidan’s “fight” response was active. But that little voice of Aurum echoed in his head from the meeting. I would rather not hurt the guards! After all, they’re gigantic pussies! Well, something like that. But hey, he saw it now. Beating the shit outta these guys would be like throwing a Lala through a window: entertaining, but ya kinda feel bad about the rights violation afterwards. Good thing he never intended to fight them. Instead, he raises both fists, throws them out, and… strikes the support wires on either side of the catwalk. His plan was to disconnect the section he was standing on, and let half of it fall to the floor, creating a convenient ramp for the cat-burglar to make her escape with. Of course, that meant he too had to hang on as it went down. But he had been expecting it, so!

Cin did exactly as she was asked, running to the door and pressing her back to it to keep it open. She glanced outside to see if any other assholes were coming from that direction, then checked her watch. “C’mon dude,” she said to herself.

Another girlish scream punctuates the air from the guard below as the catwalk creaks and groans, coming undone and creating a makeshift ramp of sorts, albeit crooked and bowed. “Yeah, you better run!” Shouts the dancer, hoping he sounds convincing. “You halfwit! We need to stop them from running or Taylor’s going to have our membership cards! Go on, jump the gap!” They both hesitate. [30 seconds. ]

Percival had scaled the building, looking for a way inside. He glided over the roof and looked in….. seeing Aiden in danger! Percival landed, opened his wings as wide as they could go, and screeched through the skylight [53] hoping to terrify the guards. Nobody had told him kill, so mangling them was not on the table(edited)

The guard at the front door fingers his linkpearl. “Boss, we have a problem…” Somewhere not so far away, Taylor Swiftpell reclines in a faux leather couch, his feet raised with tiny bits of cotton placed between the toes. He had just finished painting his toenails with World by Windstorm’s new line of scented black licorice fingernail polish, though he used it exclusively on his toes because that’s the kind of rebel he was. Plus, it was easy to hide his dirty little secret from his followers. They could never know. A pair of plush Moogle slippers lay off to the side and his face is slathered with an avocado green mask. How he loved to peel that off and look at all the gross blackheads it pulled from his pores, another guilty pleasure of his that would remain secret from even his closest allies. His linkpearl chimes. “Problem?” “Intruders, boss. The lab’s been compromised.” Taylor sits up, almost smudging his freshly painted toenails. “Compromised?! And the secure area?” “We’re on it, boss. Don’t you worry.” This did little to ease his worry, but he was in a tough spot. Would he abort the face peel early and risk having to repaint his nails? Such were the sacrifices he sometimes had to make. “I’ll be right there?” He states as a question. “Hold the line?”

[ With the Guards temporarily stunned in pants-crapping-horror at the scene playing out before them and the Griffin frantically trying to get inside, will our intrepid heroes be able to escape before the bomb goes off? Meanwhile, Aurum raises a fluted champagne glass in toast to good health, great friends, and her after party starting off with a bang. Only 20 seconds remain. ]

Fully intending to wait for the very last second and make a daring/dramataic exit through a window in the midst of a giant fart exploding behind her, she spent the last seconds she had prepping her exit. She set up a table in front of the window hastily, and made sure it wasn’t reinforced glass. Maybe even pre break it a little bit so as not to have an embarrassing exit. Bobbing up and down on the balls of her feet, she lined up her angle and started counting. It would take about two to three seconds to do the full run and leap, so timing was everything.

…Wellp. Cat-Burglar chick either had found her own way out (maybe there was a window in that room he hadn’t seen on the first sweep?), or was otherwise too occupied to give a shit. Kinda made his act of destruction moot, but whatever. At least he got to break something. So with only a few seconds left, he quickly scrambled up the makeshift ramp and out the balcony door. He was sure as hells not sticking around for the Aurum Rectal Release™️ going off shortly. “Hey,” he called over his shoulder to @Cinma Ritrha . “I’ll catch up for that coffee. Get me somethin’ sweet,” he said with a cocksure grin (which was invisible due to the mask), before bounding off the ramp and into the secret room. To help, of course. Totally not because he was dying to know what could be in there. When he saw Sehn just kinda vibing with a big cartoony sack, he had to pause and blink his eyes. “Aw, what the fuck?” he cursed, slapping a hand over his face.

“You came back!” Sehn raised her arms excited. At this point a strange rube goldberg machine had been set up, designed to knock over as many liquids onto as many piles of notes as it could, and be triggered as the glitter flooded everything. The window was a narrow gap, a wide but short one, not fully meant for people to get through.She pointed to the window as if the exit were obvious, but then looking at Aiden, she had to tilt her head, not fully sure if he would fit. “Hmm, too fat…” She looked past the door behind him, and the way up/out to the balcony. That would be a lot easier, she was torn now. Cool escape, or team escape. If she hurried she might be able to jump off the roof in the midst of the explosion right? [86] Team it was! Without saying anything she ran as fast as she could at Aiden with eyes locked on the awesome escape the team could do all together off the roof. Of course the gil-sac in hand. Sh then informed the masked man the full extend of her incredibly well thought out plan. “Aim for bushes!”

Cinma shook her head and smirked. She threw her arms up. “Whatever!” With a wink she took off for the nearest coffee shop.

Aidan sneered a little. Too fat? Bitch, sometimes medics gave him shit for having too little body fat! It was an issue! He sighed. Whatever. That bag of hers wouldn’t have fit through anyroad, so he didn’t question it. (He was impressed by the weird set up, though, and would have taken time to examine it if not for the imminent assblast!) So instead, he turned back around and ran up the ramp along with Sehn, bringing up the rear. Seeing as this was Limsa, he wasn’t super sure what bushes to aim for. But hey, barring that, he could always just aim for the water. Wouldn’t be his first base jump! Thus, out the door he went with only a few seconds to spare, just barreling over the side of the exterior catwalk. He could deal with whatever was below them in a moment.

Crouching in a bush next to the building, J’auri bit her thumbnail nervously.

The guards attempt to stop the pair as they scamper by, but it’s pretty clear by now how innept they are at their jobs. They’re good at looking the part, but that’s about where their expertise ends. Sehn dodges them nimbly while Dancer attempts a brave, diving leap, hoping to grab Aidin by the ankle but the foot wrenches free with little effort. Those hands lacked the grip strength needed to even slow him down a step. The bomb goes off moments after the party makes their escape with a muted PFFFF. While the audio may be lacking, the visuals are not as most of the interior of Taylor Swiftspell’s lab becomes coated in fine, glittery gold. The vats below get the worst of the treatment, glitter mixing into the substance and contaminating it beyond repair. If desperation won the day, and Taylor still decided to use the product, it would forever be mistaken as World by Windstorm merchandise or, far worse, a cheap knockoff. While the secret lab was safe from most of the glitter, a slow rolling fog of putrid gas permeates every corner of the vast complex. It would take moons before this place got back to smelling normal. Might just be easier to burn the whole place down at this point. The poor guards cough and gasp, struggling to unlock the front door to escape to fresh air. Suddenly the worry of being torn to shreds by an angry Griffin was the least of their concerns. One of them had their mouth open at the time of the blast, shouting threats at the escaping heroes, and was now clawing at his glitter-covered tongue. While the heroes stroll triumphantly into the shroud of dusk, only one question remains: Will they join Aurum at the after-party to celebrate or head their separate ways, vanishing into the gloom?

Oath of the Brand

After moons spent training with the lance, I was in the market for something that would give me a little more of an edge should I find myself in a scrap. I heard about certain adventurers finding and/or being gifted these soul stones that allowed them to tap into their potential so, naturally, I inquired about how to buy such a thing.

I searched the markets and asked a few of my contacts, but finding such a thing on the open market proved to be more difficult than I expected. But you all know me: if something is exclusive or rare, I just have to have it, so that didn’t deter me. When I finally tracked down a potential contact for what was referred to as a “Paladin” soul crystal, he acted like simply paying for it would somehow make it inert. Like, there are many ways to become a Paladin, but I guess it’s not something you can simply buy your way into. Nevertheless, he encouraged me to meet them for an interview of sorts. I figured: Why the hells not?

When I arrived in Ul’dah to meet this gentleman, the first thing he wanted to do was test my grit. I was somewhat prepared for this, so I showed him what I had learned at the academy. I’m no slouch, I put in my reps, and although I was only pitted against a training dummy I think I showed him that I had a handle on the basics. He seemed content enough, then he launched into this whole diatribe about the importance of being a Paladin and how you had to make a sacred oath and blah, blah, blah. Honestly, I don’t even remember this guy’s name let alone all the details of his epic rant. I got the gist, though: You couldn’t just buy one because it had to come with a promise of sorts. He gave me some examples and, from what he described, many seem to make oaths for the wrong reasons entirely. For example, he spoke of a man who had sworn to a life of celibacy. Imagine that, right? As if. Anyway, this particular individual did so in grief and despair after losing his wife. Perhaps the oath was made with good intent, but it was made from a place of injury, and therefore not strong enough an oath to sustain the bond, or whatever. As I said, I was half paying attention, but I know how to pretend like I’m engaged even if half the stuff’s going over my head.

Thankfully for me, I already have an oath that I live by and it’s to bring the best out of all of my followers. Not everyone is blessed with abundance or a carefree life, but World by Windstorm products are specifically designed to make you look and feel your best, no matter who you are or where you’re from. We’re about empowering even the most unsophisticated to feel like they’re worth a million gil. It’s a pretty noble cause, right? So when I was asked about the vow I was willing to make, my response was:

“Empowering others to empower themselves.”

He seemed pretty impressed despite this being a vision of mine from the start of World by Windstorm. I didn’t mention it was an oath to my brand, but that’s always been my guiding light. The needs of my brand are more important than my own and, should I play my cards right, the brand will certainly outlive me. If there’s an intersection between something I need and something my brand needs, I will always choose the latter – at least until it’s strong enough to self-perpetuate. Should that day ever arrive, I doubt I’d stop trying to help others. It’s a rough world out there and I’m lucky to come from a loving family who supports me. Why wouldn’t I strive to help others when I can?

Anyroad, I was awarded the soul crystal without having to put down a desposit on it or anything, so that was a win. I also went shopping for a new set of armor to complement the new job! I have to say, I look hot as hells with it on. Plus I seem to be able to heal myself better without balms or tinctures – I only need to tap into my aether – so hopefully no scars in my future!

I see you out there, Suave Sailors! Keep being fabulous!

xoxo,

-Aurum

A Date to Remember

Dearest Followers and Suavest of Sailors,

Hello! I hope today’s entry finds you all well and in good spirits.

I had a chance encounter with someone special the other sun and I wanted to share it with all of you. I was traveling the streets of Limsa, as I’m want to do between voyages when a tall, beautiful Roegadyn lass dressed in gold happened along my path. Of course, I immediately assumed she was one of you, cosplaying as myself, of course. Suffice it to say I was rather surprised when I asked if she knew me and she claimed not to.

I wasn’t about to let someone with such fabulous taste slip by, so we got to talking and went out for some food and drink at my favorite establishment. I’ve been looking to hire some models to show off my new summer line and let me tell you, Nora (that’s her name, by the way) is perfect for the role. She also seemed pretty open to the opportunity when I explained that it pays better than typical adventuring work.

When we parted ways for the night, I gave her my linkpearl frequency, hoping to meet up for another date. My wishes were answered when we arranged to meet up again, this time at my favorite place in the whole star: The Gold Saucer! I was excited to show her my favorite games, but it turns out she was a veteran as well, specializing in the strength-based challenges where I prefer the ones that require a bit more precision.

After procuring some of those yalm-long frozen beverages, we hit the floor, looking to set some high scores on the machines. The Crystal Tower Striker was our first stop and I was quite curious to see how she handled a mallet. Suffice it to say she won me over in just one swing. I’ve never seen such a high score and I swear a piece of the machine broke off from her strike. We plugged in the brand’s initials with haste as we spotted two attendants heading our way, but sadly it contained a typo. For once, though, I wasn’t bothered. We wasted a perfectly good advertising opportunity, but my attention and priorities were elsewhere at the time.

Next up was the Cuff-a-Cur. I think Nora really wanted to punch something after messing up the initials, even though I told her it was more than fine. I got treated to another show of strength as she pummeled the poor machine into oblivion with her bare hands. No high scores this go around, but she won a little piece of my heart, and that’s no consolation prize. Half the games are rigged anyroad – it’s just a matter of knowing how to adjust and putting in a little practice time.

After hitting the refreshment stand to refill on sugary drinks and treats, I showed her the tricks on my favorite game: The Moogle’s Paw. Is there anything better than overpaying to win a cheap plushie? I didn’t think so. I demonstrated that the machine usually lags behind the inputs slightly, so the trick is releasing the button a half-second before you want the claw to stop. It took a few attempts to master, but by the end, I had a few of the plushies in hand to add to my collection at home.

Time flew by and before I knew it, it was time to call it an evening. We parted ways after a kiss and a promise to meet up again soon. I know that some of you may be crestfallen to learn that yours truly has a crush and that your chances with me may be shot, but never lose faith. The next time you see someone strolling by who catches your fancy – do what I did and start a conversation. Who knows where it may lead? And for those of you who are happy to see me happy, just know that I will always love and cherish my followers like extended family. Your happiness is mine as well!

An Unexpected Adventure

My dearest followers,

By now you’re probably familiar with Talha, my closest friend from the Academy and one heck of an adventurer, pardon my language. Being close in age, she’s become a bit of a role model of mine. Now, I know what you’re all thinking: “But Aurum, you’re the GOAT!” While that might be true when it comes to some things, no one is good at all things. Many of you are the GOAT in your own way, it’s just a matter of finding what that is, right? That’s what World by Windstorm is all about!

Talha knew I was struggling with adventuring. I was afraid to stray too far from campus without wearing my armor. Too many strange happenings and people getting injured for me to feel completely confident in staying out of harm’s way, fortuitous luck aside. I helped her with a few things, so she wanted to return the favor by bringing me along on an adventure – to prove I had what it takes.

We met up near Poor Maid Hill, just outside of Limsa Lominsa and not far from the old family farm. There was work to be done! When we met with the quartermaster, an older gentleman who seemed in dire need of beard wax by the looks of his scraggly excuse for facial hair, he informed us that a local camp of kobolds had settled in and, in doing so, had stolen a shipment of tools the town desperately needed.

We were instructed to retrieve these tools from the kobolds, preferably without drawing blood, so as to avoid inciting retaliatory violence against the small town. The reward? A measly five hundred gil, but it was the experience that mattered, something Father often said was worth more than the pay rate.

So off into the hills we roamed. I didn’t know much about kobolds, but according to Talha they can speak common, which meant they could be reasoned with. Or tricked. My first suggestion was to offer them coal or shiny rocks in trade, but Talha informed me they’re fairly adept miners, so that wouldn’t fool them. That’s when the inspiration hit me and, gods bless her, Talha put her full faith in me and followed my lead.

Sometimes you’ve got to fake it ’til you make it – carry yourself with confidence when you’re lacking – pretend you’re meant to be somewhere when you know damn well you aren’t. So, with my chin held up (to simulate confidence), we walked right into their camp, claiming to be Curse Menders.

When we found the supplies, we had a little chat with what appeared to be their quartermaster and, as expected, he was pretty dumb. I told him the tools held a terrible curse that caused its victims to be aware of the tongue in their mouth. I don’t know why, but if you tell someone they’re aware of the tongue in their mouth, it’s, like, the only thing they can think about for a while. You’re probably thinking about yours right now, right? Weird, huh? Anyroad, I had a feeling that would work and it sure did! We offered to trade for the cursed goods, as that was only fair, so I tossed him my change purse. It was mostly small denominations of gil, but it probably felt like a nice haul if you only judged it by the weight. It was about one hundred and fifty gil, but I had a plan to get that back later.

We departed their camp with the stolen tools in tow and no blood spilled. When we returned to the quartermaster, I informed him that we had bargained with the kobolds and bought the tools back from them for two-hundred and fifty gil, asking that we be compensated for the business expense on top of the reward. Fair readers, I wasn’t looking to cheat anyone out of coin, that’s not the way I do business. I knew the man was going to haggle just by the way he carried himself. He countered with six hundred gil and I blew a long sigh out through my nose and came back at six-fifty. He begrudgingly agreed and we walked away breaking even! That’s how you do it, folks. I should teach classes on this stuff.

There’s nothing better after a long day of adventuring than relaxing in a hot spring with a handful of World by Windstorm healing bath bombs. Talha took me to one of her favorite spots and we shed our armor to soak in the healing waters. It wasn’t long before one of the kobolds from the camp found us, completely defenseless! He claimed that the kobold quartermaster we bargained with was, as predicted, a complete idiot and didn’t speak for the rest of their clan. Scooping up my gold-leafed armor as well as Talha’s gear, the little bugger tried to make off with our stuff! He underestimated our speed, though. I’m sure it was quite the sight for any onlookers, but the two of us were able to catch up to him, Talha with her monk-like speed and me with a burst from my wind aether. I’m still learning how to control it, but it’s there when I need it, and, let me tell you, I needed it at that moment. The kobold had to drop our gear in order to make his getaway, but I’m sure he’s still out there somewhere, plotting his next heist.

So that about catches you up on one of my most recent adventures. Be sure to subscribe to my newsletter so you’re always in the loop of the latest goings-on of Aurum Windstorm and her closest friends!

A Brand Reborn

My faithful followers and the suavest of sailors, after some restructuring and certainly no other reason (especially tax-dodging via structured bankruptcy) we have rebranded! World by Windstorm rises from the ashes – The same great products but double the commitment to bringing beauty and self-care to even the farthest reaches of Hydaelyn.